I'm a small man in a big world, and I can only hope that from this dust and grime, the squalor and squabbles, I will arise, renewed. I'm a fragile man in a tough world, and all I can do is smile. So just, smile.

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Day 1 - Your Best Friend

This isn’t a letter to one person, it’s to a collection of souls that I’ve had the privilege of having around for a good portion of my life. It’s to the men and women who have dealt with my suicide attempts and pulled me out to face the day, dealt with my depression and my rage, dealt with my obnoxiousness and occasional crossing of the line, dealt with all of the ups and downs this world has thrown at us, and still continue to shrug the dope-coma off in the morning when they wake up on my floor, give me a big hug and say “How’d you sleep, love?” It’s to the most beautiful, wonderful group of people that I have ever met, and cannot possible explain the amount of love and adoration that I have for them all. Maybe that’s why this is so hard to write, I can’t focus on just one, I’m writing to a congregation.

To keep it short and sweet, I love you guys. <3

Fri, August 27th 2010

Beautiful song, I cried all the way through. =\

“And there’s three, count them, three children
Playing on the beach
They were eager to learn
To be taught, and to teach

There’s Veronica
She’s biting her lip
As she watches the waves
Turn white at the tip
And there’s Vada
Radiating with joy
And luckily she still can’t stand
The sight of a boy
And lastly there’s Dade
His hair dances in the wind
And he’s wondering what love is (love is)
And why it has to end

And he can’t understand
How everyone goes on breathing
When true love ends
His mother whispers quietly
“Heaven’s not a place that you go when you die
It’s that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax
So forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now”

And there’s three, count them, three children
Growing on the beach
They were eager to learn
To be taught, and to teach

There’s Veronica
She’s licking her lips
As she waits for her real
First passionate kiss
And there’s Vada
She can’t admit her jealousy
Of her sister Veronica
And how she’s so pretty (and how she’s so pretty)
Lastly, there’s Dade
Still sitting on the dock
He ponders his life
And he skips his rocks
And he wonders when his father will return
But he’s not coming back

And he can’t understand
How everyone goes on breathing
When true love ends
His mother whispers quietly
“Heaven’s not a place that you go when you die
It’s that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax
So forget everything that you have heard
(Forget everything)”

And there’s three, count them, three children
Missing from the beach
They were eager to learn
To be taught, and to teach

But the sad thing
Is that they never lived
Past the age of fifteen
Due to neglect from their mother
Who was bed-ridden by her ex-lover, their father
And she didn’t even notice
Or pay much attention
As the tide came in
And swept her three into the ocean
Now all her advice, it seems useless

No, heaven’s not a place that you go when you die
It’s that moment in life when you touch her and you feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love’s completely real, so forget anything that you’ve heard
And live for the moment now”“

Tue, August 10th 2010

Though my heart may be broken

I shall carry on,

And follow the hills

To Absolution,

And though my heart may panic

My mind has other plans,

And though my heart may riot

My mind has other plans.

Thu, August 5th 2010

Louis XIV - Paper Doll

Catchy shit. =]

“Ah bang a gong or get it on
We don’t need to take off our clothes to get it on
Pull your skirt up a little bit
Pull down your top and show me a little tit
I said hey short girl you’re like a midget
You can turn a phone cord into a widget
She said you son of a bitch you little bitch
I ain’t gonna show you my love without a hitch
I said hey hold up sugar just one at a time
Show me yours baby I’ll show you mine
She said oh you’re so pathetic
Yeah well so…you’re so magnetic
I said hold up girl I know your game
Ah you want a sugar daddy you can tame

I said sing, sing me a song
And bang me like the girls in Hong Kong
I know I know I ain’t correct
But politics are so much better when there’s sex

I said rollover do me a trick
Do it with your shoes on it’d be a kick
Ah tell me the horse that you pick
Let me buy you a lollipop you want to lick
She said, Does that shit work with other girls?
If it does, why don’t you find one of them to give you twirls?
My love cost pearls
Ah does it baby - You don’t say
She said hold up I know your game
You want a paper doll that you can tame
I said sing, sing me a song she said well
Touch me like the boys
That did me wrong
You know it’s ok, it’s alright
If you want clean fun go fly a kite.”

Wed, August 4th 2010

Circa Survive, all day. My moody day music.

“Can we last through the winter?
The water’s starting to freeze.
The only one who remembers
Taking the wrong step, falling in front of me.
This body’s already aging.
These nights are all ready long.
And if I last through the winter,
I swear to you now, I won’t call.

Congratulations, go home now.

Will we last through the winter?
Will we make it to see?
I never wanted a partner and I never loved you,
Now you are free to leave.
This heart is already frozen,
I can’t remember the fall.
And if I last through the winter,
I swear to you now, I won’t call.

Congratulations, go home now.

It’s too late, it’s too late, they won’t let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.
It’s too late, it’s too late, they won’t let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.

It must be buried under the heart
That makes this pace consistent.
You’ll find it torn, that gate’s been opened?
I’ve been wondering if you’ve been real with us.

It’s too late
It’s too late, it’s too late, they won’t let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.
It’s too late, it’s too late, they won’t let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.

It’s start, stop and go you’ve been dying for, you’ve been dying for.”

Mon, July 26th 2010

A thought

You are insignificant, as am I, and every single last sentient being on this earth.

We will trudge on through time, a singular few being given names that last longer than their owners.

But even then, those names will fade, as they are just as fleeting as the life that they describe.

But in such a cold and meaningless existence, there is hope.

For every star would be nothing without its kin.

Fri, July 16th 2010

austinkleon:

Wall art by Banksy
So in March of 2005, Banksy entered the museum world—literally. Disguised in beard and hat, he hung his own parodied works in four New York museums as surreptitiously as he would paint a bridge. Often in museum-appropriate gilded frames, his exquisitely altered pieces lasted in public view for various amounts of time ranging from 2 hours to twelve days. One piece, a faux primitive drawing on stone accompanied by a didactic panel noting its origins from the “Post-Catatonic Era” is now in the permanent collection of the British Museum in London.

austinkleon:

Wall art by Banksy

So in March of 2005, Banksy entered the museum world—literally. Disguised in beard and hat, he hung his own parodied works in four New York museums as surreptitiously as he would paint a bridge. Often in museum-appropriate gilded frames, his exquisitely altered pieces lasted in public view for various amounts of time ranging from 2 hours to twelve days. One piece, a faux primitive drawing on stone accompanied by a didactic panel noting its origins from the “Post-Catatonic Era” is now in the permanent collection of the British Museum in London.

Fri, July 16th 2010

Let’s get official.

This is less of a post about my day and more of a post about my future. Summer To-Do list, GO!

1. Get my god-damn license, finally.

2. Get another job, or become an extremely successful entrepreneur very quickly.

3. Get my ass published, like legit.

4. Fix my van. Pimp van, hooooooo!

5. Finish the INSANITY workout, without dying or becoming so weak through exhaustion that I become permanently numb to any sort of physically stimuli.

6. Have a little fun along the way.

7. Knuckle up, and turn these beats I’ve already got on my computer into songs. That would require me to have a microphone, however. Oh, and learning how to sing wouldn’t hurt.

So I suppose I should get started. Godspeed to you all.

Thu, July 15th 2010

Using my tumblr now, I guess. Trendy, trendy, go!

Using my tumblr now, I guess. Trendy, trendy, go!

Fri, July 9th 2010